I wrote this piece a while ago when I was at my lowest. I thought to share it as a way of encouraging those who constantly feel defeated. You need to see yourself as a winner! Jesus didn’t die for you to lose control of your life to deceptive thoughts. You must fight back! That’s the only way you’re gonna win!
Praying for you!
I am yet again psychologically worn out. So sick and tired of these perpetual harmful thoughts swirling around in my head. These negative opinions and feelings have come yet again, disturbing my peace. They come armed with anxiety, doubt, fear, pain and depression – my mind is in no way ready for the epic battle ahead.
As they continuously fire their somewhat indestructible weapons at my self-esteem, I ask myself the same question I always ask when I know I’m about to lose; ‘Why aren’t I strong enough?’. THUMP! I just received the fatal blow. Woman down. It’s not even 6 am yet. Yep, all of this happens before I even leave my bed. After a couple of hours, I decided to pick myself despite the painful emotional wounds telling me to stay down.
As I dust myself off and wipe the tears from my eyes I start to think, ‘Why is it that I only seem to muster enough strength to stand AFTER I have been defeated?’ Why can’t I exhibit this POWER in battle? Yes, I might be battered and bruised but I’m still here …..and I’m still standing! This is a sign! A sure reminder that God isn’t done with me yet and that I MUST live to FIGHT another day. You see, I usually enter the battlefield helpless, expecting life to deal with me as it pleases. I then pick up the fractured pieces in an attempt to move on. However, if I continue like this, there might not be anything left to pick up.
You see, despite the fact that I ALWAYS get back up, each battle erodes a part of me away. NO MORE! I’m about to flip the script! Next time these demonic thoughts come for me, I will counteract them with my fighting faith! I will throw positive affirmations, scriptures and mantras at them and, in the heat of the battle, I will use the most powerful weapon of them all- PRAYER! I’m destined to win and I WILL! You will too! 🙂